Drunken Irishman Can't Find The Porta-Potty At Euro 2012

After ending their penalty shoot-out jinx on Sunday, Spain moved one step closer to glory, but ahead of the game the omens didn t look good. 

Three times on June 22 Spain have exited major tournaments at the quarter-final stage on penalties, but that hoodoo was smashed in Vienna as Cesc Fabregas confident spot-kick was enough to see off the Azzurri 4-2. 

Another June 22 shoot-out defeat would have had Luis Aragones tearing out the little hair he has left, but now the wily old Spain coach can look forward to plotting the downfall of Russia. 

The writing looked like it was on the wall for Spain when Italy stifled the Spanish for 120 minutes and forced the spot-kick drama, but the World Cup defeat by Belgium in 1986, the Wembley defeat to E…

Oliver Bierhoff feels that Germany deserve to be ranked as one of the favourites for the 2012 European Championship.

Joachim Loew s side finished third in the 2010 World Cup in South Africa after their hopes of a fourth title were dashed by eventual winners Spain in the semi-finals.

Germany have been placed in a difficult group for Euro 2012 alongside the Netherlands, Portugal and Denmark but team manager Bierhoff believes Loew s side have matured over the past two years and will feature prominently at the tournament.

Today we have a squad that is better and has more depth, Bierhoff told Kicker. We are much further along than in 2010, because we have players like (Mesut) Oezil, (Sami) Khedira, and (Holger) Badstuber who have really established themselves with t…

Erling Haaland declared it s going to be fun working with Pep Guardiola after he scored his first goal in a Manchester City shirt.

Haaland netted the only goal of the game as City beat Bayern Munich 1-0 at Lambeau Field in Green Bay, Wisconsin on Saturday.

Stormy weather conditions disrupted the friendly contest, but that did not stop the former Borussia Dortmund striker from getting on the end of a Jack Grealish cross in the 12th minute to tap in.

Speaking after the win, Haaland said:  As you probably all know, I ve been watching a lot of City games in the last years, and in the last years it has been without a striker, so of course I ve been seeing myself in these situations today, so I m not surprised.

The Norwegian scored 86 goals in 89 appearances…

Midfielder Javier Mascherano has made it clear he is enjoying life at Barcelona and says he is keen to stay at Camp Nou.

The Argentina international has developed into an important first-team member with the La Liga giants since joining them from Liverpool in August 2010, and he is eager to stay put.

I have no intention to leave Barcelona. I am very happy with the way things are going here, Mascherano said.

I don t think I deserve a new contract.

If I have the chance to continue or get a new deal in the future, that will be great. The club will decide.

The 27-year-old s contract runs until June 2014.

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David de Gea is set to see out the season as Manchester United s first-choice goalkeeper despite a string of uncharacteristic errors that could cost the club a Champions League berth. 

The Spain international has failed to recapture his best form since struggling at the World Cup in Russia and mistakes have become more frequent as the campaign comes to a close. 

His high-profile blunders against Barcelona and Manchester City were followed by the cheap concession of an equaliser in last weekend s draw with Chelsea, which further damaged United s bid to finish fourth in the Premier League. 

Ole Gunnar Solskjaer continues to stand by the under-fire 28-year-old but is it a case of the United manager s hands being tied by a lack of alternatives and needing t…

Chelsea have announced the appointment of Guy Laurence as the club s new chief executive.

Laurence, the former CEO of Rogers Communications and Vodafone UK, will take over the role from the start of February.

He was also a director of Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment, which includes NBA team the Toronto Raptors, the Toronto Maple Leafs NHL franchise and MLS side Toronto FC in its portfolio.

Chelsea chairman Bruce Buck said: We look forward to Guy joining the club during an exciting period for Chelsea on and off the field.

He will be working with the owner [Roman Abramovich] and the board to increase our commercial revenues and maximise digital opportunities, identifying new ways to best serve our supporters here in the UK and further grow our internat…

Swansea City will attempt to soften the blow of the seemingly imminent departure of Wilfried Bony by beating West Ham on Saturday.

Ivory Coast striker Bony is expected to complete a move to Premier League champions Manchester City for a reported fee of £30million.

The 26-year-old has been a revelation since arriving at the Liberty Stadium from Vitesse in 2013 and ended 2014 as the top scorer in the Premier League for the calendar year.

Bony has jetted off to represent his country in the Africa Cup of Nations and looks to have played his last game for the Welsh club.

Swansea manager Garry Monk said at a press conference on Thursday that he had no hard feelings towards his leading scorer as he prepared his side for the visit of West Ham.

Goal…

Luka Modric has reassured Croatia fans he is in good shape ahead of his side s FIFA World Cup opener against Brazil.

Creative midfielder Modric is likely to carry much of Croatia s threat at the global showpiece, starting with Thursday s opener against the hosts.

After a gruelling campaign with Real Madrid where Modric won the UEFA Champions League and the Copa del Rey, he insists he is fully fit going into the World Cup.

I feel good, I m healthy and most importantly I have had the right training, he said.

I got a few days of rest after winning the Champions League and the chance to mentally switch focus to the team.

I am ready, eager and cannot wait for the first game of the World Cup.

Croatia missed out on the World Cup in South Africa four years…

Thomas Tuchel praised Neymar for his selflessness after the Paris Saint-Germain star handed over penalty duties to Kylian Mbappe against Istanbul Basaksehir.

Mbappe scored his first Champions League goals since December last year, netting a brace in Wednesday s 5-1 victory, the Group H clash resuming after allegations fourth official Sebastian Coltescu had exposed Basaksehir assistant Pierre Webo to racist language a day earlier.

His first came from the penalty spot three minutes before half-time, Neymar handing over duties having already scored a brace at the Parc des Princes.

That gesture was lauded by PSG coach Tuchel as Mbappe, 21, became the youngest player in Champions League history to reach 20 goals in the competition, breaking Lionel Messi s record.

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Jakob Glesnes scored a sensational stoppage-time equaliser as Philadelphia Union came from two goals down to secure a 2-2 draw with Atlanta United on Sunday. 

Anthony Fontana and Kacper Przybylko were denied by Brad Guzan as Philadelphia looked more likely to find the breakthrough in the first half of the Eastern Conference clash at the Mercedes-Benz Stadium. 

It was Atlanta who opened the scoring, though, the unfortunate Przybylko heading into his own net from a corner shortly before the hour. 

Anton Walkes looked like he had secured three points for his side with a powerful header seven minutes from full-time, but the visitors had other ideas. 

Cory Burke pulled one back a minute later with a close-range finish before Glesnes sealed a share of the…