Why Your Team Sucks 2018: Chicago Bears

Some people are fans of the Chicago Bears. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Chicago Bears. This 2018 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: Chicago Bears. Your 2017 record: 5-11. Let’s see the highlights! That’s it. That’s all the highlights. This was a rebuilding year for the Bears, if you consider what Ryan Pace does to be rebuilding things. I tend to visualize the Bears’ business model as a headless Corgi put in charge of a strip-mining operation, but tomato tomahto. They got owned by their old, shitty kicker. Their coach challenged his way into turning the ball over. Danny Trevathan nearly killed a guy. Marcus Cooper pulled a Leon Lett. The tight end got his leg sheared off and then t…

Why Your Team Sucks 2015: Dallas Cowboys

Some people are fans of the Dallas Cowboys. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Dallas Cowboys. This 2015 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: the Dallas Cowboys, official team of all Texas sugar daddies! Your 2014 record: 12-4. Play it… Hold onto the ball next time, fucko. Your coach: Jason Garrett. Holy shit, you went 12-4 with Princeton Boy! Well, THAT’S not happening again. Your quarterback: Tony Romo. OW MY BUTT The great thing about Tony Romo is that he can play perfectly efficient football and still have his team choke AROUND him. It’s all his fault. Keep in mind that Romo played a few games last season with a broken back because the Cowboys don’t give a shit. Join us this season wh…

Drunken Irishman Can't Find The Porta-Potty At Euro 2012

It is impossible to watch this video and not find yourself actively rooting for the Ireland fan to successfully locate and open a portable toilet in Poznan. The European Championship is truly awash in human drama. [ Total Pro Sports, via SportsGrid] …

Your College Football Late Game Open Thread

Michigan at Catholics. Convicts at Ohio State. Penn State vs. Alabama. It all pales in comparison to the Presbyterian Blue Hose vs. Clemson blood feud. But that's just me. What's just you? All comments and/or observations from the day of college football welcome. That includes interpretations on the etiquette of wearing a LeBron Heat jersey to a Ohio State game like bro here … Relatedbest football sportsbooksbetting sites for nflwagering on college footballbetting sites for nbasafe mlb betting siteslegit nhl betting sitesbest ufc betting sitesbest betting sites for soccerbest online copa america betting sites …

Here's Why There Was No Pass Interference on the Saints Fake Punt

data-mm-id=”_k9qkow8r9″>There was confusion on a fourth-and-18 fake punt play when the officials didn't call pass interference on 49ers' Tarvarius Moore, who clearly interfered with the ball thrown at Tre'Quan Smith, a wide receiver for the Saints. Sure, Saints' fans will think they were jobbed once again by the refs, but they weren't. As many have pointed out, the rules say there is no pass interference on fake punt plays. Yes, by rule, when an offense is in a punt formation, there's no such thing as PI. I wonder if Sean Payton didn't know there's no pass interference on fake punts. The idea is it'd be too easy to draw a cheap flag just by throwing the ball to your gunner while he's being blocked downfield. https://t.co/1iFHk2CbKh— …

Jalen Ramsey is Costing Himself a Ton of Money With Tomfoolery

data-mm-id=”_wx42uyp7c”>Jalen Ramsey forced his way out of Jacksonville and promised to play nice in La La Land. But like the good actor he is, it was all a farce and he's back to his old ways again– which is ultimately going to cost him at the contract negotiating table. Ramsey got into a verbal confrontation with Ravens cornerback Marcus Peters on the field following the Rams beatdown loss against Baltimore on Monday night and then had to be restrained from going after Peters in the tunnel following the on-field skirmish. After the game, Rams CB Jalen Ramsey was being restrained by Rams personnel in the tunnel while shouting at Ravens players and staff going into their locker room. @NBCLA pic.twitter.com/UD7j9R1ycF— Kenny Holmes (@KHOLMESlive) November 26, 2019This follows a…

The Panthers Look Like They're Stuck With Cam Newton

data-mm-id=”_sysnd0xw2″>The Carolina Panthers seem to have made a decision about their quarterback situation. According to Ian Rapoport, new coach Matt Rhule and his coaching staff like the way Cam Newton's rehab is going and they are content waiting for him to return. #Panthers coach Matt Rhule and his staff have been encouraged with how Cam Newton has treated his rehab and how intent he is to get back to top form. He’s spent plenty of time in town. With so much to rebuild in other areas, having a legit starter in place eases the transition. https://t.co/LIvqQDj5b5— Ian Rapoport (@RapSheet) February 25, 2020This could be sincere. It's tough to find a legitimate high-level quarterback in the NFL and the Panthers have one under contract this season. If Newton will be healt…

Handicapping Conor McGregor's Next UFC Opponent

data-mm-id=”_hgh5lob7z”>Conor McGregor is currently without an opponent to prepare for. With UFC 249 going down this weekend and the interim version of McGregor's old lightweight title on the line, it got us thinking about McGregor's future. The Irishman is keen to fight again and before the coronavirus pandemic he had planned for three fights in 2020. After a brilliant 40-second destruction of Donald Cerrone, McGregor's options looked wide-open. The 31-year-old the most interesting man in MMA and easily the biggest draw in the sport. Here's a look at five potential opponents for McGregor as the UFC ramps back up.Jorge MasvidalMasvidal appeared ticketed for a bout with UFC welterweight champion Kamaru Usman just a few months ago. That fight failed to materialize and…

Donald Trump Takes Aim at Roger Goodell, Anthem Protests in Late-Night Tweet

data-mm-id=”_pkdx543qf”>At 11:54 p.m. ET Sunday night, Donald Trump took a break from whatever else he had going on to take a shot at NFL commissioner Roger Goodell on Twitter. Trump is clearly perturbed after Goodell essentially approved of his league's players protesting during the national anthem in a video the commissioner released on Friday.Here's the tweet:Could it be even remotely possible that in Roger Goodell’s rather interesting statement of peace and reconciliation, he was intimating that it would now be O.K. for the players to KNEEL, or not to stand, for the National Anthem, thereby disrespecting our Country & our Flag?— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) June 8, 2020Trump spent much of the 2017 NFL season ripping the players who kneeled during the nationa…

Horse Trainer Barclay Tagg Confused Why 'Rioters' Can Shoot People But Can't Be Shot At

data-mm-id=”_35hsv539w”>The social justice movement permeating the sports world over the last week means that everybody and anybody will be asked for their thoughts on the current state of the country. This extends to even horse trainers. Barclay Tagg, trainer for 2020 Belmont Stakes winner and Kentucky Derby hopeful Tiz the Law, was asked about the protests currently taking place across the country following the shooting of Jacob Blake in Kenosha, Wisconsin. Tagg didn't have much to offer on the subject, except to say that, to him, it seems like rioters can shoot at anybody but can't be shot at. Barclay Tagg, trainer of Ky Derby favorite, asked about concerns over protests, just said: "I don’t know what these guys are going to do, these rioters, Who knows? All I know …